EP 046 Self-Handicapping & Extinction Burst: Mindset Success Secrets from Neuroscience

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What if I told you that the voice
in your head telling you to think

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it through one more time is actually
the same voice that has been stealing

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away all of your opportunities,
keeping you trapped in self-sabotage

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and locked in analysis paralysis.

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For years, for some of you, maybe even
decades, what if your brain, you know,

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the, the organ that you trust to guide
you on all of your decisions is really

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running 200,000 year old software that's
out there treating every one of your

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modern challenges like a saber tooth
tiger attack, or, I don't know, maybe the

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bandits are at the door of your cabin.

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Yeah.

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And what if I told you that
70% of people are literally.

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Their own worst enemies.

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Yeah.

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Not because you're weak and not
because you're lazy, but because you're

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letting ancient survival programming
run your modern success strategy.

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Your success, DNA podcast, your success.

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Is in your DNA.

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What is up?

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What is up?

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What the hell is up?

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My fellow success seekers, welcome back
to another episode of Your success, DNA.

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Yeah.

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That podcast for my aspiring, Hmm, my
aspiring success seekers out there.

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Whether you are an entrepreneur or you
wanna be a nine to five escapee, you

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have come to the right place because here
we're gonna deliver some mindset shifts,

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some habit upgrades, all mixed with a
little dose of rebellion helping you

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to break free from convention to build.

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A life aligned with
your version of success.

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Not everyone else's, your
version that's out there.

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And if you know someone who dreams
of ditching the grind, maybe alright,

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and but always makes time for some
personal development, sprinkle a little

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self-help, you might wanna go ahead
and forward this episode to them.

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Okay?

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So today we're talking about your
brain as your biggest business partner.

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And it's the business partner
that's embezzling your success.

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We we're gonna be chatting about today.

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Hidden neuroscience behind why smart
people are out there staying stuck.

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And there's three things I want you
to come away with today, and they are.

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First I'm gonna reveal the shocking
research from Harvard and Princeton that

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shows how your brain literally chooses
self-sabotage over potential failure.

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Bear with me.

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All right.

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This is a good one.

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You'll discover why your mind
would rather have you fail

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because you sabotaged yourself.

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Actually risk failing despite your best
efforts and why this twisted logic is

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really keeping you from Everett, launching
that side hustle or whatever it is.

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You maybe even just asking a significant
other out on that ever So special date.

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So second, we're gonna expose
the cruel evolutionary joke

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called the extinction burst.

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Yeah.

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This is why your brain throws an absolute.

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Tantrum like a 5-year-old.

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The moment that you try to change
and why that tantrum gets worse

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right before you have a breakthrough.

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Yeah.

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I'm gonna show you why.

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The harder it gets, the closer
you actually are to rewiring

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your success, DNA, through
what's called neuroplasticity.

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And then third, I'm gonna give
you the exact five step framework

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that neuroscientists used to stop
your brain from embezzling your.

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Success opportunities.

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These success opportunities
comes in all form and fashion.

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But this isn't about positive thinking.

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It's not about willpower.

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This is how to literally reprogram your
mental operating system so it works

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for your goals instead of against them.

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So all that said, let's get, let's,
let's dive right into things.

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Here's the truth.

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And I, I think as always,
some of you, it's gonna make

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you a little uncomfortable.

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Your brain.

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Is not your friend.

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Yeah.

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Especially when it comes to building
the life that you actually wanna have.

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Right?

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The life that you dream
and desire and deserve.

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And I know that sounds a little harsh,
but here's what's really happening

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inside of your head right now.

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Yes.

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Right now, as you're listening to me,
every time you set a goal, your brain

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gives you a nice little hit of dopamine.

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Pow.

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There it is.

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I love you for that.

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Uh, a big hit.

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For dreaming, but the moment it's time
to execute, the time to sit down and

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get shit done, to actually do the work.

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That same brain that
rewarded you so well, yeah.

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No, it, it triggers every
single sphere response that it

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has in order to keep you safe.

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He says, with air quotes in your
current situation, to get you to stay

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exactly where you are right now, your
brain would literally rather have

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you fail because you procrastinated.

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Ever risk discovering that you are just
not as capable as you hoped you were.

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It's called self handicapping
and it is the most expensive

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mental habit you'll ever develop.

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Let, lemme tell you, lemme tell
you a little bit about Marcus.

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Marcus was a brilliant software engineer,
and this guy, let's be honest, he's one

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of those guys and we've all met them.

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He had everything going for him.

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Six figure salary, respect of his peers,
this sharp, razor sharp analytical mind.

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He came to me completely frustrated Tracy.

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He said, I've been planning to
launch my own app for, gosh,

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it's been like three years.

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I have the skills, I have the
idea hell, I even have potential

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customers lined up asking for it.

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But every time I get close to launching,
I find yet another critical feature that

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needs to be perfect before I launch.

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Yeah, some of you're
probably nodding along.

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It might not be an app for
you, but it sounds familiar.

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Right.

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Marcus wasn't lazy, not by a long shot.

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He wasn't lacking the skills,
certainly didn't lack an

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opportunity his brain was running.

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What psychologist Kurt Lewin called
the approach avoidance conflict.

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Part of him desperately wanted
the success, but another part was

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horribly terrified of what success
might actually demand of him.

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Here's what's really
happening inside your head.

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Really, let's use Marcus
inside his amygdala.

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You know the amygdala is that ancient
system inside of your head that's

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designed to keep you alive, basically.

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And think about it, ancestors,
it was really important to keep

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them alive when being eaten by a
predator was a real concern, but

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it was designed to keep him live.

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It was doing so by treating his app.

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Why can a life or death situation?

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Every time he got close to launching
or shipping it out, his brain flooded

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his system with stress hormones
and it triggered this internal

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fight or flight response that
manifested inside him as perfection.

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Daniel Goman, he coined the term
amygdala hijack in his book, emotional

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Intelligence, and it explains that this
ancient part of our brain can literally

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take control of our decision making
processes before our rational mind

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even knows what the hell is going on.

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Look, Marcus' Brain is
doing its job perfectly.

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Just the way it was
designed to the problem.

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Well, the problem is it was doing
the right job for the wrong century.

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And I said this in a previous episode too.

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This is what's going on with our brain.

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What I showed Marcus, the research,
since I'm about to share with you,

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everything kind of clicked for him.

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He realized he wasn't broken.

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He realized he wasn't inadequate.

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He realized just like in a
previous episode that his brain

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needed a bit of a firmware update.

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Okay, so here's what the science reveals
about your brain's sabotage system.

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Let's talk about the Harvard,
Princeton self-handicapping

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study, self-handicapping.

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I just told you what that was.

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Back in the seventies, researchers
Stephen Berg, glass from Harvard

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and Edward Jones from Princeton,
they discovered something shocking

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about human behavior and basically
everything about this show is about.

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Human behavior.

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Once you understand that, you can
start leveraging it to your advantage.

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They gave participants a
choice before they took a test.

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Take a performance enhancing drug,
or take a performance impairing drug.

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It sounds like a no-brainer choice
to me, but here's the results.

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People in this study actually chose
the drug that would make them perform

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worse rather than risk failing.

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Without them having an excuse.

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Let that sink in for a moment.

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Would you, I mean, really think about it.

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Your brain would rather guarantee failure
with an excuse than risk discovering

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that you actually have limitations.

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I know rationally we understand
we have limit limitations, but

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this is why you procrastinate.

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Unimportant projects.

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This is why you find urgent busy work when
you should be working on your side hustle.

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This is why you find excuses not
to ask that beautiful woman out

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or that handsome guy out 'cause
you're afraid of your limitations.

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Your brain is giving you a built-in
excuse for why you haven't succeed.

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Okay, now this is where we talked.

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Remember earlier I talked about the,
uh, extinction burst phenomenon.

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So this is the area where it
really starts to get cruel.

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When you finally sit down and say,
screw this and decide to change, you

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know, you're gonna stop procrastinating.

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You're gonna start that business.

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You're gonna break those
self-defeating patterns, you're

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gonna ask that person out.

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Your brain doesn't just resist,
you know, it goes whole full stop.

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It throws what psychologists
call an extinction burst at you.

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This comes from BF Skinner's
research with lab rats.

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When he stopped rewarding
rats for pressing a lever,

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they didn't just give up.

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They pressed that lever more times,
they pressed that lever faster, and they

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pressed that lever with even more force
before eventually stopping your brain.

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Yeah, it, it does the same thing.

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Now, I'm not calling your brain a
rat, but it falls the same pattern.

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The moment you try to break your
self-sabotaging pattern, the pattern

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is gonna come at you stronger and
harder and faster than ever before.

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It's not a sign that you're failing.

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It's proof that the change that you are
trying to institute is actually working.

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Here's the neuroscience
behind the sabotage.

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When you are faced with challenge or
when you are faced with opportunity.

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Two of your brain's systems
actually just go to war.

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Uh, they, they're across the battlefield
looking at each other, squaring off.

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Like back in the Civil War Day, system
number one is your limbic system.

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This includes your amygdala,
which we talked about earlier.

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And it's constantly scanning for
threats out there in the environment.

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This system evolved when being
eaten by a saber tooth Tiger was a

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legitimate concern, and it's still
in there, ladies and gentlemen.

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System number two is
your prefrontal cortex.

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This is your rational sinking center
that understands the long-term

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consequences of things, and it
helps you make logical decisions.

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However, here's the PR problem that's
causing these two guys to go head to head.

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The amygdala is faster and it's louder.

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Yeah.

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When it perceives a threat, which could
be anything from the risk of failure

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to the fear of success, it totally
floods your system with cortisol and

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it hijacks your prefrontal cortex.

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Research from Harvard Medical School
shows that chronic stress impairs

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your hippocampus, the part of
your brain responsible for forming

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memories and regulating your emotions.

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So woohoo.

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Let that one go for a minute.

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So, overthinking makes you.

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Worse at the very cognitive function
that you need to solve your problems.

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The good news, well, thanks to
neuroplasticity, your brain has

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an ability to rewire itself.

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You can literally change the patterns.

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Now, this again, this isn't
about positive thinking.

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This is about leveraging your
brain's natural capacity.

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For adaptation.

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All right, so let's dive into this
five step reprogramming framework here.

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All right, step number one, this
is a ruthless pattern recognition.

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Okay?

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I talk about this a lot in my other
podcast, some unapproved thinking,

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where, where we just dive into different
things that are happening out in the

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world through pattern recognition.

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You cannot change.

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What you do not acknowledge,
it happens inside of yourself.

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It happens in governments,
it happens in countries.

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It's just a fact.

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Start keeping a self-sabotage journal
every time you catch yourself in some

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self-defeating behavior, whatever it is.

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Write it down.

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00:11:18,036 --> 00:11:20,218
But when you write it down, do
you wanna write down some details?

238
00:11:20,436 --> 00:11:23,354
You wanna note the setting that
you're in, the circumstances that

239
00:11:23,354 --> 00:11:27,227
were going on, the emotions you were
feeling, and the result that came

240
00:11:27,227 --> 00:11:29,027
out of this self-defeating behavior.

241
00:11:29,327 --> 00:11:31,754
Now, again, as I've told you
in some other episodes, you

242
00:11:31,754 --> 00:11:33,118
don't wanna judge yourself here.

243
00:11:33,118 --> 00:11:34,645
You don't wanna overanalyze.

244
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:38,654
You just wanna be the outsider
looking in and observing.

245
00:11:38,704 --> 00:11:39,768
You wanna look for patterns?

246
00:11:40,013 --> 00:11:42,659
Do you sabotage when you're
getting close to a breakthrough?

247
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:45,168
Marcus was getting close to launch
and all of a sudden, boom, he

248
00:11:45,168 --> 00:11:47,650
had this new idea that had to be
perfect before he could launch.

249
00:11:47,759 --> 00:11:50,050
Do you sabotage when
things are going well?

250
00:11:50,268 --> 00:11:51,740
Do you feel like you don't deserve it?

251
00:11:51,768 --> 00:11:52,068
Yeah.

252
00:11:52,150 --> 00:11:55,422
Maybe you're comparing yourself to
others when you start sabotaging

253
00:11:55,422 --> 00:11:56,895
yourself, who are those others?

254
00:11:56,895 --> 00:11:57,959
Are they really better than you?

255
00:11:58,231 --> 00:11:58,777
I'm just saying.

256
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:02,268
Okay, so step number two is cognitive.

257
00:12:02,427 --> 00:12:03,272
Diffusion.

258
00:12:03,354 --> 00:12:06,272
This technique is from Steven
Hayes, and it creates distance

259
00:12:06,272 --> 00:12:07,663
between you and your thoughts.

260
00:12:07,909 --> 00:12:12,599
When you notice a self-sabotaging thought
rolling around in your head, stirring

261
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:15,190
up chaos, I want you to try this phrase.

262
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,963
I notice that I'm having the thoughts.

263
00:12:17,468 --> 00:12:18,286
I'm going to fail.

264
00:12:18,354 --> 00:12:19,540
Fail, or whatever the thought might be.

265
00:12:19,759 --> 00:12:24,259
That simple addition reminds you that
thoughts are mental events, they're

266
00:12:24,259 --> 00:12:28,186
things that are happening inside
your head, not necessarily facts.

267
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:29,686
Then let's take it one step further.

268
00:12:29,904 --> 00:12:34,486
I notice that I notice that I'm having
the thought that I'm going to fail.

269
00:12:34,568 --> 00:12:34,813
Yeah.

270
00:12:34,868 --> 00:12:35,768
This one's a little trickier.

271
00:12:35,959 --> 00:12:41,468
This brings to the forefront that you are
an active agent that's doing the noticing.

272
00:12:41,659 --> 00:12:43,595
You noticed that you noticed.

273
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:45,659
You were having a thought
that you might fail.

274
00:12:45,877 --> 00:12:46,286
Okay?

275
00:12:46,422 --> 00:12:48,522
That's activating additional
parts of your brain.

276
00:12:48,686 --> 00:12:50,922
Step three, we're gonna
challenge the evidence here.

277
00:12:51,059 --> 00:12:55,940
Each time a self-defeating thought rises
up in your head, stirring up the audience.

278
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:58,777
I want you to ask yourself,
is this thought helpful?

279
00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:00,304
Ask yourself, is this thought.

280
00:13:00,631 --> 00:13:01,122
True.

281
00:13:01,231 --> 00:13:03,577
Is there evidence that
contradicts this thought?

282
00:13:03,631 --> 00:13:07,640
What would I tell a friend that was
thinking the way I'm thinking right now?

283
00:13:07,859 --> 00:13:08,595
Yeah, ask.

284
00:13:08,677 --> 00:13:09,986
Ask all of those questions.

285
00:13:10,068 --> 00:13:13,804
This is where developing what,
uh, Carol Dweck calls a growth

286
00:13:13,804 --> 00:13:15,222
mindset really comes crucial.

287
00:13:16,018 --> 00:13:20,109
Instead of operating from a fixed mindset
that says, I'm just not good at this.

288
00:13:20,218 --> 00:13:25,018
A gross mindset recognizes that
abilities can be developed through

289
00:13:25,018 --> 00:13:27,527
dedication, repetition, and hard work.

290
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,481
Just like anybody else, when you
catch yourself thinking in fixed

291
00:13:31,536 --> 00:13:36,827
terms, pause, reframe it as a growth
opportunity or opportunity for growth.

292
00:13:37,045 --> 00:13:37,481
Remember.

293
00:13:37,704 --> 00:13:41,195
As I mentioned earlier, thoughts
are not necessarily facts.

294
00:13:41,413 --> 00:13:44,904
They are interpretations
of your experiences and

295
00:13:44,904 --> 00:13:47,304
interpretations can be changed.

296
00:13:47,495 --> 00:13:47,768
Yeah.

297
00:13:48,013 --> 00:13:49,240
So let's move on to step four.

298
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,340
This is environmental design.

299
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:55,868
We wanna make it harder to go
back to our old patterns, the

300
00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:57,013
ones that aren't serving us.

301
00:13:57,095 --> 00:14:00,040
If you are trying to work on your
side hustle, for example, instead

302
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,513
of scrolling through social media.

303
00:14:01,818 --> 00:14:02,663
Which is what you are doing.

304
00:14:02,881 --> 00:14:04,190
Delete the app off your phone.

305
00:14:04,409 --> 00:14:08,418
Delete the social media scrolling
app off your phone completely, or

306
00:14:08,663 --> 00:14:10,054
put your phone in another room.

307
00:14:10,190 --> 00:14:12,454
During the time you know you should
be working on your side hustle.

308
00:14:12,481 --> 00:14:16,381
Have your work materials at the
ready and visible in front of you.

309
00:14:16,727 --> 00:14:17,818
Put your phone somewhere else.

310
00:14:17,927 --> 00:14:22,945
Does James Clear writes in atomic habits
make good behaviors easy while making

311
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,727
bad behaviors invisible and difficult?

312
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:26,218
Yeah.

313
00:14:26,354 --> 00:14:28,181
Let that rustle around
with that one for a minute.

314
00:14:28,454 --> 00:14:31,072
That brings us to step
number five, expect and ride.

315
00:14:31,577 --> 00:14:32,668
The extinction burst.

316
00:14:32,668 --> 00:14:35,313
Look, it's gonna happen
when you start changing.

317
00:14:35,531 --> 00:14:40,359
Your brain is gonna be like that little
spoiled five-year-old we've seen in the

318
00:14:40,359 --> 00:14:42,459
toy store, and it's gonna throw a tantrum.

319
00:14:42,677 --> 00:14:44,204
It is this, just be honest.

320
00:14:44,422 --> 00:14:48,622
When old cravings are old patterns
of yours resurface, not only will

321
00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:51,131
they resurface, they're gonna
resurface stronger than ever.

322
00:14:51,131 --> 00:14:53,068
And when this happens, I
want you to remind yourself.

323
00:14:53,322 --> 00:14:56,731
This is my brain's last
ditch effort to stop me.

324
00:14:56,977 --> 00:15:00,822
The fact that it's getting harder
means my change is working.

325
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:04,422
Don't judge yourself for
having the urge to go back.

326
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:05,922
That's what your brain's designed to do.

327
00:15:06,059 --> 00:15:09,195
Just do like you were doing in the
journaling, exercise, observe it,

328
00:15:09,331 --> 00:15:13,422
act like a third party, looking at
yourself in, you know, through a

329
00:15:13,422 --> 00:15:15,522
moving lens and breathe through it.

330
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:18,631
It will pass without you acting on it.

331
00:15:19,104 --> 00:15:22,868
Okay, now before we go deeper, everything
I've shared today, the research,

332
00:15:22,868 --> 00:15:26,113
the frameworks, the mindset shifts,
this is exactly the type of content

333
00:15:26,113 --> 00:15:29,713
that I dive into every week in the
Unleash Your Success, DNA newsletter.

334
00:15:29,713 --> 00:15:33,531
It's designed for people like you who
are still listening so many minutes in as

335
00:15:33,531 --> 00:15:35,959
you are right now, who refuse to accept.

336
00:15:36,031 --> 00:15:36,904
Default life.

337
00:15:37,122 --> 00:15:40,668
Those who want mindset shifts
and habit upgrades, mix with

338
00:15:40,668 --> 00:15:41,949
that little dose of rebellion.

339
00:15:41,977 --> 00:15:43,886
'cause you're a little bit of
a rebel yourself, aren't you?

340
00:15:44,022 --> 00:15:44,813
You just go ahead and nod.

341
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:45,440
I know you are.

342
00:15:45,495 --> 00:15:45,740
Alright.

343
00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:48,686
All designed again to help you
break free from convention so that

344
00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:50,813
you can build a life aligned with.

345
00:15:51,054 --> 00:15:54,981
Your version of success, and if you are
tired of your brain running the show all

346
00:15:54,981 --> 00:15:58,990
the damn time in the wrong direction,
and you wanna take back control, head on

347
00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:01,909
over to your success d.com and subscribe.

348
00:16:01,963 --> 00:16:05,699
Each issue delivers the kind of truth
telling, status quo, challenging

349
00:16:05,727 --> 00:16:10,363
insights that can help you rewire
your success, DNA from the inside out.

350
00:16:10,472 --> 00:16:10,745
Okay.

351
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:15,704
So let's, uh, let's pause for a moment
here and discuss why this really matters.

352
00:16:15,731 --> 00:16:18,649
I mean, other than the obvious,
we're living through, let's call

353
00:16:18,649 --> 00:16:21,131
this the self-sabotage epidemic.

354
00:16:21,349 --> 00:16:22,604
I'm not entirely sure.

355
00:16:22,604 --> 00:16:25,140
It's all because of you and yourself.

356
00:16:25,168 --> 00:16:28,495
I think there are powers that
be out there that are throwing

357
00:16:28,495 --> 00:16:30,554
things at you to help suppress.

358
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:34,931
Your desire to be better,
to lift yourself up, okay?

359
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:38,340
But research from psychology
journals shows that approximately

360
00:16:38,340 --> 00:16:43,659
70% of adults engage in some form
of self-sabotaging behavior, and

361
00:16:43,659 --> 00:16:44,559
there's many of them out there.

362
00:16:44,831 --> 00:16:46,168
That means, think about that.

363
00:16:46,304 --> 00:16:50,900
That means that seven out of 10 people
are literally their own worst enemy.

364
00:16:51,313 --> 00:16:54,368
They are the reason they're not
succeeding and living up to the

365
00:16:54,368 --> 00:16:55,977
dreams that they themselves have.

366
00:16:56,195 --> 00:16:57,504
But here's what gets more fascinating.

367
00:16:57,613 --> 00:17:02,468
Self-sabotage is not a character
flaw, and it's not a sign of weakness.

368
00:17:02,495 --> 00:17:02,686
No.

369
00:17:03,395 --> 00:17:06,750
It is your brain trying to protect
you, and of course it's protecting

370
00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:10,377
you using ancient survival mechanisms
that are completely mismatched.

371
00:17:10,486 --> 00:17:13,404
For the modern day level of success
that you, you're looking for.

372
00:17:13,459 --> 00:17:17,195
And as I mentioned and I talk about
a lot in my, uh, more conspiratorial

373
00:17:17,195 --> 00:17:20,686
podcast, there are powers out
there using that against you.

374
00:17:20,850 --> 00:17:26,168
The cruel irony is that we torture
ourselves with imaginary problems

375
00:17:26,331 --> 00:17:29,986
while all the real opportunities
that we hope for and dream about,

376
00:17:30,231 --> 00:17:32,413
kind of slip by under the radar.

377
00:17:32,631 --> 00:17:32,850
Yeah.

378
00:17:33,122 --> 00:17:34,813
Your brain evolved to keep you alive.

379
00:17:34,977 --> 00:17:38,140
Your brain did not evolve
to make you successful.

380
00:17:38,331 --> 00:17:41,413
Survival and success required
two completely different parts

381
00:17:41,413 --> 00:17:43,922
of your brain, two completely
different mental operating systems.

382
00:17:43,922 --> 00:17:48,231
When you understand this, you, you can
stop taking your thoughts so seriously

383
00:17:48,695 --> 00:17:50,713
and start treating them like suggestions.

384
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:54,095
You know, like the suggestions you
might get from that overprotective

385
00:17:54,095 --> 00:17:57,368
friend that doesn't totally
understand what it is you're trying

386
00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:59,168
to accomplish, but they mean well.

387
00:17:59,618 --> 00:18:01,554
They always mean Well,
don't try that Tracy.

388
00:18:01,554 --> 00:18:02,809
You're gonna, you're gonna get hurt.

389
00:18:03,054 --> 00:18:03,300
Yeah.

390
00:18:03,818 --> 00:18:04,800
I have to do this, this.

391
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:05,045
Right.

392
00:18:05,236 --> 00:18:09,463
The bigger paradigm shift, I think
is moving from being a victim

393
00:18:09,518 --> 00:18:13,254
of your thoughts to being the
CEO of your mental experience.

394
00:18:13,254 --> 00:18:17,018
This is, uh, about building
what Albert Bandura called.

395
00:18:17,645 --> 00:18:23,372
Efficacy, the belief in your ability to
execute behaviors necessary to produce

396
00:18:23,372 --> 00:18:25,418
a specific performance attainment.

397
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:28,881
This is where your brain works
for you, not the other way around.

398
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:29,809
And it does.

399
00:18:29,836 --> 00:18:33,709
Your brain works for you as
long as you man the helm.

400
00:18:33,927 --> 00:18:37,445
So many of us have stepped away
from the steering wheel or stepped

401
00:18:37,445 --> 00:18:39,927
off the bridge of our battleship.

402
00:18:39,927 --> 00:18:43,227
That is our brain, and so it
just goes on automatic pilots.

403
00:18:43,227 --> 00:18:43,254
Okay.

404
00:18:43,986 --> 00:18:47,013
So all that said, here's your
Whiskered wisdom for this week.

405
00:18:47,231 --> 00:18:50,368
The harder it gets, the closer
you are to breakthrough.

406
00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:51,540
I need you to remember that.

407
00:18:51,540 --> 00:18:54,704
If you remember nothing else about
this particular episode, remember

408
00:18:54,704 --> 00:18:57,350
that the harder it gets, the
closer you are to breakthrough.

409
00:18:57,513 --> 00:19:01,359
Most people are gonna quit right
when their brain throws its

410
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:03,622
extinction burst tantrum at them.

411
00:19:03,868 --> 00:19:04,004
Yeah.

412
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:06,595
Your little five-year-old
brains come, eh, don't stop.

413
00:19:06,827 --> 00:19:11,109
Now they think if this was working,
it wouldn't feel this hard.

414
00:19:11,327 --> 00:19:14,463
But that's exactly backwards
it because it's working.

415
00:19:14,627 --> 00:19:19,100
It feels hard once you get past
that last tippy top part of your,

416
00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:20,168
uh, mountain that you're climbing.

417
00:19:20,804 --> 00:19:22,413
Well then it's kind of
smooth sailing, right?

418
00:19:22,413 --> 00:19:23,095
You get the coast.

419
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:26,368
Remember our bicycle days, you know,
cranking up the top of the hill.

420
00:19:26,368 --> 00:19:29,313
By the time you get to the top of the
hill, you are so damn tired and you are

421
00:19:29,313 --> 00:19:33,431
thankful for the downside On the backside
of the mountain, your specific action

422
00:19:33,431 --> 00:19:37,631
for this week, every time you catch
yourself self-sabotaging, say it out loud.

423
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:38,777
Call it out.

424
00:19:38,859 --> 00:19:41,804
Say something like, thanks brain,
I see what you're doing here,

425
00:19:41,968 --> 00:19:43,740
but I'm gonna keep going anyway.

426
00:19:43,959 --> 00:19:45,459
And then notice that you noticed.

427
00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:45,759
Yeah.

428
00:19:45,895 --> 00:19:47,968
And then ask yourself
one concrete question.

429
00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:48,431
Right.

430
00:19:48,431 --> 00:19:52,495
And I, this is probably repeat from a
previous episode, but it's, it, it works.

431
00:19:52,522 --> 00:19:56,777
It's that closely linked and it is
what one small action can I take

432
00:19:56,859 --> 00:20:01,059
right now that moves me toward
my goal instead of away from it.

433
00:20:01,063 --> 00:20:01,290
Yeah.

434
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,122
Get focused on the good stuff.

435
00:20:03,259 --> 00:20:04,977
Don't try to stop your thoughts.

436
00:20:04,977 --> 00:20:05,604
They're gonna happen.

437
00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:09,013
Don't try to fight the mental clatter
that is rolling around in your head.

438
00:20:09,068 --> 00:20:09,504
Stop.

439
00:20:09,504 --> 00:20:11,086
That's where a lot of
the stress comes from.

440
00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,786
Just pause and simply acknowledge it.

441
00:20:13,895 --> 00:20:15,395
Thank it for protecting you.

442
00:20:15,586 --> 00:20:16,786
Thank it for being there.

443
00:20:16,922 --> 00:20:21,340
And then redirect that energy that it
was using to protect you towards the

444
00:20:21,422 --> 00:20:24,422
action that you wanted to take from
the question that you just asked.

445
00:20:24,422 --> 00:20:28,050
Remember, you cannot
lose if you do not stop.

446
00:20:28,249 --> 00:20:30,540
Your brain's tantrum is just temporary.

447
00:20:30,786 --> 00:20:33,077
Your commitment and
change can be permanent.

448
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:33,840
Should be permanent.

449
00:20:33,868 --> 00:20:34,686
Okay, so.

450
00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:38,331
Listen, 70% of people are out there
struggling with self-sabotage,

451
00:20:38,631 --> 00:20:41,277
but you don't have to be
trapped inside that statistic.

452
00:20:41,277 --> 00:20:41,659
You don't.

453
00:20:41,768 --> 00:20:44,031
You could be the part
of the nont trapped 30%.

454
00:20:44,386 --> 00:20:46,949
You now understand that
your brain, it's not broken.

455
00:20:47,059 --> 00:20:50,659
It's just running some outdated software,
not really perfectly aligned with the

456
00:20:50,659 --> 00:20:51,886
life that you are trying to build.

457
00:20:52,104 --> 00:20:54,695
And if you don't man the
helm of your ship, it will.

458
00:20:55,009 --> 00:20:56,645
Go on autopilot, right?

459
00:20:56,645 --> 00:20:58,254
And it's gonna run the outdated software.

460
00:20:58,254 --> 00:20:59,972
You're gonna go right off course, right?

461
00:21:00,081 --> 00:21:04,390
So all that said, you have the tools to
reprogram your mental operating system.

462
00:21:04,527 --> 00:21:08,372
You know the difference between protective
resistance and productive action.

463
00:21:08,618 --> 00:21:12,736
You understand that your thoughts, their
suggestions, they are not commands.

464
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:15,954
And you are the captain of your bridge.

465
00:21:16,145 --> 00:21:18,463
And those thoughts come in and
they're a suggestion of what

466
00:21:18,463 --> 00:21:19,663
you should do as the captain.

467
00:21:20,018 --> 00:21:22,445
You can choose to do them or not.

468
00:21:22,445 --> 00:21:23,481
The research is clear.

469
00:21:23,590 --> 00:21:26,945
Self-sabotage isn't
evidence that you're weak.

470
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,299
It isn't evidence that you are
designed to fail because you're not.

471
00:21:30,518 --> 00:21:32,127
It's evidence that you're human.

472
00:21:32,372 --> 00:21:33,927
It's evidence that you're human.

473
00:21:33,927 --> 00:21:38,290
Was a brain designed for survival
in a world very different than

474
00:21:38,372 --> 00:21:39,572
the one that we live in today.

475
00:21:40,118 --> 00:21:43,418
There's no more saber tooth tigers
out there trying to eat you.

476
00:21:43,609 --> 00:21:45,327
There are no bandits at the door.

477
00:21:45,327 --> 00:21:47,263
Depending on where you live there,
there might be one, I dunno.

478
00:21:47,427 --> 00:21:50,072
Alright, there's no bandits at
my door so I can say that, right?

479
00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:54,709
So it's trying to keep you safe it
from everything, whether it's be saber

480
00:21:54,709 --> 00:21:58,827
tooth, tigers, bandits, or your own
ambition, it's, it says, okay, to do that,

481
00:21:58,827 --> 00:22:00,272
you're gonna put yourself at some risk.

482
00:22:00,381 --> 00:22:01,499
Let me save you from that.

483
00:22:01,499 --> 00:22:03,599
You're like, no, I'm
willing to take that risk.

484
00:22:03,736 --> 00:22:04,881
My dream is worth it.

485
00:22:05,154 --> 00:22:05,890
But knowing.

486
00:22:06,140 --> 00:22:09,468
Knowing all of this gives you
the power you can work with your

487
00:22:09,468 --> 00:22:11,240
brain instead of work against it.

488
00:22:11,486 --> 00:22:15,740
You can honor its protective intentions
while redirecting that same energy

489
00:22:16,013 --> 00:22:20,050
toward the goals you dream, desire,
and deserve your future self.

490
00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:24,577
As always, it's counting on you to
make that shift right now today.

491
00:22:24,681 --> 00:22:27,631
As soon as you're finished listening
to this podcast, heck make it while

492
00:22:27,631 --> 00:22:28,940
you're, you can stop right now.

493
00:22:29,022 --> 00:22:29,404
Go ahead.

494
00:22:29,654 --> 00:22:30,745
I give you permission, okay?

495
00:22:30,909 --> 00:22:33,527
Stop letting fear
disguise this perfection.

496
00:22:33,718 --> 00:22:38,409
Run the show to have it stop running,
directing your ship right off the path.

497
00:22:38,627 --> 00:22:41,572
Take control, grab the
steering wheel and guide it.

498
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,772
Take control of your mental operating
system and start using that incredible

499
00:22:45,772 --> 00:22:50,190
brain of yours the way it was meant
to, to create, to solve, and to

500
00:22:50,190 --> 00:22:52,290
build the life you actually want.

501
00:22:52,563 --> 00:22:55,781
And with that, I'm gonna leave you
as I always do think successfully.

502
00:22:56,081 --> 00:22:56,709
Take action.

503
00:22:58,345 --> 00:22:58,918
Your success.

504
00:22:58,918 --> 00:23:02,113
DNA podcast, your success is in your DNA.