EP 041 Why I Might Be the Worst Source of Success Mindset Advice — Challenging Authentic Success Habits

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Oh my God.

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You wanna know what really pisses me off
about the personal development space?

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Everyone's got a damn origin story.

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They're all out there like, I'm broke,
I'm sleeping on my friend's couch.

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I was eating ramen noodles and
then I discovered this one secret.

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That changed everything.

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Here's the thing, I'm about to tell you
five reasons why you should probably

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ignore everything that I'm about to
say, and if you're still listening

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to that, well maybe just, maybe you
are ready for the truth about what

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it really takes to escape the matrix.

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Your success, DNA podcast,
your success is in your DNA.

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What is up?

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What is up?

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What the hell is up?

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My fellow success seekers.

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Welcome back to another episode
of the podcast, and I wanna

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get stuck right into it here.

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I, I'm not gonna be talking about,
Hey, this is what we talk about.

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You know, what we talk about around
here, and if you don't know what

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we talk about, 'cause this is your
first time, well then stick around

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and you're gonna learn it because
today's episode we're gonna talk about.

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Five reasons that you should
probably ignore everything.

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I'm about to tell you why I am really
the worst person to teach you about

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escaping the nine to five, and that's
exactly what makes me the right person.

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Yeah, first, first off, I'm
gonna be shattering the myth.

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You need to follow someone
else who has made it.

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He says, with air quotes, because most
of those success stories out there are

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just carefully crafted pieces of fiction
designed to separate you from your wallet.

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Second, you're gonna discover
why my biggest failures might be

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more valuable than anyone else's.

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Highlight reel and how the scars
from losing everything twice, maybe

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even three times, has taught me what
actually works in the real world.

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And then third, I'm gonna reveal the
uncomfortable truth about why I still

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struggle with my own advice sometimes
and why that makes me more qualified,

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not less to guide you through your.

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Transformation.

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Look, here's a truth bomb.

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That's gonna make some people
a tad bit uncomfortable.

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Most personal development gurus, yeah,
they're just selling you a fantasy.

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They're peddling you.

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The idea that success is a straight line
from broke to breakthrough, and all you

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need to get there is their $2,997 course.

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To unlock that secret.

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That's not just wrong.

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That's dangerous, ladies and gentlemen,
because it sets you up to believe that

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if you are not seeing instant results,
then you are doing something wrong,

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or worse yet you might be broken.

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Let me tell you the moment that I
realized that I was just full of shit.

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Okay?

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It was, I dunno, was it 2009?

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I was standing in front of a, a
room full of entrepreneurs giving

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this polished presentation.

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I was an experienced speaker, I
believe it was, it was entitled The

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Seven Steps to Unstoppable Success.

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I had the slides, I had all my stories.

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I had my perfectly timed.

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Pauses.

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I even looked the part.

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Okay.

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Maybe my long hair was, long Hair
was a little outta place, but

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you know what I'm talking about.

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But inside, yeah, that
was a different story.

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Inside I was dying, you see,
three months earlier, my second,

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or was it my third business?

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Had imploded, not failed, imploded,
and I lost everything again.

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The house, the savings, the confidence.

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I was 47 years old starting over
for the third time, and here I was

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standing in front of a group of
people teaching them how to succeed.

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Ah, ah.

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Can you say the words cognitive distance.

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That cognitive dissidence was
crushing me after the presentation.

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This young woman, probably in her early
thirties, reminds me of my daughter today.

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She came up to me with
tears in her eyes, no joke.

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She was literally weeping.

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She says, thank you for showing me that.

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It's possible.

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I have been stuck in my corporate
job for eight years, and

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you have just given me hope.

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Pow.

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That's when it hit me.

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She wasn't inspired by my success.

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She was inspired by my humanity, by the
fact that I was still fighting, that I

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was still trying, that I was still getting
up, dusting myself up and getting back

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at it every time I got knocked down.

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That night I went through and threw away
just about every polished presentation I'd

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ever created, and I had a number of them.

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I decided if that's what's going
to help people, that I'm gonna be

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telling them the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Even the parts that made me look like
I didn't quite have it figured out,

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you know what they say, warts and all.

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Especially those parts.

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So here are the five reasons you
should probably ignore everything I'm

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about to tell you and why each one at
the same time kind of makes me more

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qualified to guide you through your
escape plan than most other folks.

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Reason number one.

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I don't have a rags to riches story.

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I wasn't born poor.

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I didn't couch surf on anyone's
couch over years of my life.

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I didn't discover success
at 19 and retire at 25.

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Nope.

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I'm just a middle class military kid who
became a corporate marketing and inventory

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director, and I made some decent money.

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I had a corner office for a while.

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I drove a nice car from the outside.

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Many folks would tell you.

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He's made it, but inside I was
suffocating the real stories, my friends.

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I don't think it's in the
rags to richest stories.

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It's riches to meaning stories.

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You know, it, it's, it's trading the
golden handcuffs for actual freedom.

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And if you're listening to this
show, chances are you're not

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starting from zero either, are you?

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No.

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Right.

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Most folks that are listening to this
show have something in their pocket.

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You're starting from somewhere that
might look successful to other people.

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Maybe even to yourself,
but it still feels empty.

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Yeah.

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Some of you're nodding your head with me
right now, like it would bear with me.

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That right there, that's a different
kind of prison and it requires

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a different kind of escape plan.

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Okay.

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Reason number two, I. Yep.

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Here it comes.

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I have failed way more
than I have succeeded.

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Yeah.

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Here's what those highlight reels that
you see on TikTok will not show you.

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I've started seven.

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I think it's seven.

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Seven businesses, three completely
failed, two barely broke even.

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And one made decent money,
but it killed my marriage.

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But if I'm honest, that
marriage wasn't right for me.

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Anyway.

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But that's, that's a whole
nother podcast episode.

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Only one.

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The current one actually aligns.

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With who I am, with, who I am proud to be.

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Most gurus will tell you about
their wins every day, all day long.

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I want to tell you about my losses because
that's where the real education lives.

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Sure, there's some education in the
wins, but the real education that

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deep down change your world education.

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Comes from the losses.

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When my first consulting business fell
on its face, I learned that passion

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without systems is just expensive therapy.

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When the second one imploded,
I learned that success without

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alignment is just a prettier prison.

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We've talked about that
before around here, have we?

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Mm-hmm.

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Those failures, they weren't really
failures, they were setbacks, right?

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There were setups for a comeback.

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They were education, expensive and
painful, but necessary education.

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Reason number three, I still
have a day job sort of.

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Okay.

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I'm not typing this
from my yacht in Monaco.

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Nope.

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Nope.

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I don't have a team of 47
virtual assistants, not even

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a team of AI assistants.

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I still do client work, and
I still have bills to pay.

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Here's what that means for you.

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I understand the transition.

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I know what it's like to build
something while you're still

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trapped in something else.

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I know the fear of leaving
security or uncertainty.

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Yeah.

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Most of the people teaching
escaped nine to five haven't really

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worked a nine to five, especially
not for a long period of time.

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They, most of them that I have seen have
went from college to entrepreneurship.

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They never experienced the real soul
crushing reality of corporate life.

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I have for more than 20 years.

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I know what it feels like to die a little
bit each and every day in the job that

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pays you okay, but kills your spirit.

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Yeah.

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Reason number four, I don't
follow my own advice sometimes.

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Sorry, this being real
with you last month.

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Spent maybe three days doom scrolling
on social media instead of working on my

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project, my book, my course, my lessons,
my podcasts two weeks ago, I skipped my

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morning routine for 14 days straight.

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Yeah, I did.

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And yesterday, I think it was
yesterday, maybe it was the day before

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yesterday, I ate reheated Pizza.

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For lunch, I'm not perfect.

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I'm not disciplined 24 7 365, and
I do not have superhuman willpower.

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But here's the thing.

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I know how to get myself back on track.

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I know the difference between a
temporary setback and a permanent

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failure, and I know how to forgive
myself, get myself up and start again.

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That's not a weakness that my
friends is a superpower because

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life isn't about never falling down.

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Everyone falls down.

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That's how you learn to walk.

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It's about getting really good at propping
yourself back up, dusting yourself back

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off, sometimes wiping the cock off your
face and taking that next step forward.

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And reason number five, I can't
promise you that you'll get rich.

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Nope.

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Sorry.

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You've come to the wrong place.

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I can't promise that you'll
make six figures in six months.

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Nope.

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And you'll never see me
say anything like that.

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I can't promise that you'll retire early.

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I can't promise that you will
never, ever have to work again.

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I can promise you this.

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If you follow the principles that I teach,
you'll build something that's yours.

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You'll wake up excited about what it
is you're doing, who it is you're doing

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with, instead of dreading it, you'll
have more control over your time, your

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life, your relationships, your income.

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And your impact.

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You might not be rich, but you'll be free.

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And for most of us, that's
worth more than money.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Look, if you're still listening,
how many minutes we are into this,

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it means you're probably tired of
the polished BS that's out there.

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You want someone who's been in the
trenches, who's got muck on his

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face, who's made the mistakes, and
who's willing to tell you the real

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ass truth even if it's not pretty.

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That's exactly what you'll get in my
newsletter, the Unleash Your success DNA.

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Every week I share real strategies,
miss failures, and hard won insights

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that actually work for people like you,
people like me, people like us, the ones

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who are building something meaningful
while still having to pay the damn bills.

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No hype, no false promises, just
truth tactics, and occasional

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kick in the ass when you need it.

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And of course, a pat on the back.

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Okay.

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Sign up@yoursuccess.com because.

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If you're choosing Escape the Matrix, you
need a guide that's actually been there,

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just saying, okay, now here's why I think
this matters at, at a, at a bigger level.

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We're living in an age of
manufactured authenticity.

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Yes.

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Some of you are nodding.

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Some of you're like,
what do you mean Tracy?

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Everyone's got a personal brand.

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Everyone's got a story.

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Everyone's got a story to tell.

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Everyone's selling you the dream.

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But what we are really hungry for is the
truth, the real, messy, complicated get.

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Real with me, Tracy.

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Truth.

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The personal development industry
has over the past few decades

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become this fantasy factory selling
people the idea that transformation

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is easy, that success, yeah.

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It's inevitable that all you need is
the right mindset and everything will

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just fall into place like Jenga blocks.

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M, that's not just wrong.

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I think it can be harmful because
when people don't see instant results,

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they start to blame themselves.

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Worse yet, they might even think
they're broken or that they're not

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trying hard enough, or maybe that
they don't have inside of them what

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it is it takes to be successful.

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I don't think any of that's true.

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The truth is transformation.

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It's hard building something
meaningful takes time and guts and

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bloody knuckles and sweat and tears.

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The ones that are most qualified
to guide you are the ones who have

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struggled and they kept going anyway.

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The ones who have stumbled and bumbled
and fell and face planted right down

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into the horse shit, and then stood
up, wiped it away, maybe even laughed

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at themselves, looked at what went
wrong and started making corrections.

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The people most qualified to guide you
aren't the ones who've never struggled.

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Starter ones who struggled and kept going.

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Anyway, so lemme give you your
whispered wisdom for today.

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Your sticky lesson for today is
stop looking for perfect mentors and

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start looking for the honest ones.

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The person who can best help you isn't
the one who has it all figured out.

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It is the one who's willing to
share what, what they have figured

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out and what they are still.

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Figuring out in order to help you figure
it out, your specific action for this

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week, identify one area where you've
been seeking out that perfect advice.

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You know what I'm talking about?

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He says with air quotes, that perfect
advice or where you have been waiting

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for that right mentor to come along.

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Instead, find someone who's one step
ahead of you, two or three steps ahead

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of you, and that person is willing to
share their real world experiences with

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you, warts and all, because the path to
your success isn't paved with gold and

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bricks, and it's certainly not paved
with other people's highlight reels.

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It's built on honest conversations,
hard work, and about what actually

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works out there in the real world.

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Okay, so.

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All that said, I can't promise
you that following my, my advice

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will make you rich, will make you
famous, or will make you instantly

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successful, confident, loving,
adored by the masses, none of that.

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What I can promise you is that it will
make you more honest with yourself

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about yourself and about what you really
want and what it takes to get there.

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And sometimes that honesty is the
first step towards the freedom.

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You're probably really looking for.

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So stop waiting for permission.

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Stop looking for the perfect plan
and start building something that's

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yours, one honest step at a time.

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With that, I'm gonna leave you as I always
do, think successfully and take action.